Original text..what I started n never resumed..not trying to question my PAST,don't want to term my past as bitter n keep pondering over it..there's a lot unaswered..just don't wanna slip n use da art of escapism as a route..just want to channel my energy n relieve my mind by sharing dis story wid u to just make it a lot lighter n a past full of smiles not tears..
P.s.-Life has changed n da dimensions have changed a lot since I wrote this..haven't edited it,don't mind the errors,just whatever came to my mind is on this blog..:)
My feelings..shared with only few select people as 4 now..review it n let me know if I should go ahead with the book..:)
To all those who believe in the power of love and have experienced it
27th Jan 2009- I was only 18 then as my teenage and adolescence slowly faded into adulthood even before I realised it.I thought I was quite mature and had learned a lot about life only to realise that life had just begun and I didn’t mind being a part of this learning phase and discovering life as it got meaner and made me realise that it’s not going to be just a cakewalk.Just passed out of high school from a school which taught me,nurtured me and moulded me into what I am today and made me learn values I can never forget.Then came this transition to a different school and environment where I was trying to adjust but it didn’t seem as difficult as it did initially.Though average but I feel I failed miserably in academics totally in contrast to what I was in lower grades and to my abilities and expectation primarily because of the sudden independence I got and tried in vain to strike a balance between responsibilities and other activities.I wished I fared better at least up to my parent’s expectations but I believe it’s best to move on,learn from my mistakes and more than anything else follow the motto my school taught me-“Facta Non Verba” or “Deeds Not Words”.But honestly apart from this I don’t regret a thing because along with all the fun and craziness I got learn and realise true friendship with some true hearts to whom I could open up to and realise my true side and who realised it’s ‘Kavi’ and not ‘Kavesh’.
Then towards the end of this phase whether it was a crush,infatuation,attraction or maybe the desire to have that someone special,Though there were so many people around to care and love meI got drawn into this strong urge to get into a relationship with a person whom I could call my soulmate in a bond where love was endless and everlasting.And even before I could realise it took control of me.I wanted someone who would extend genuine love,care and compassion to me as well as one and all.A person with a pure loving soul and heart and I thought I had found her with this person whom I had already struck a friendship with which grew special by the day.ASaggitaurianby birth and probably by heart too much like me makin us a fiery couple.Yes,it was turning magical and I couldn’t help falling in love.
So,on 27th of January,2009 just two months before the highly anticipated board exams I,without the knowledge of many of you decided to go ahead and confess this magical love to this person who probably already knew and felt it too.Our pre-board exam was on and we had Mathematics test on this day as I helplessly tried to delay this but in vain.I still don’t know if I passed in this test but after the test I met her in the corridors of the school.I wanted to answer her query that who was this mysterious lady ‘Kalpana’.And I decided to do so by gifting her this wrapped mirror which I stole from my Mom’s vanity(till date she asks for its whereabouts!) and see for herself who ‘Kalpana’ was.But before she could open it her dad played the role of the villain meticulously as I panicked to say even a word of what I had planned helplessly smiling and trying to avoid a movie scenario as I looked into her eyes.Oh,she had to go and I just wished at that moment my heart could pe paused and then resumed again.Butterflies refused to fly away from my tummy until the next time I spoke to her in the midst exchanging text messages asking her whether the mirror gave her the answer but either the mirror had stop reflecting or she was in the mood for some teasing.
And the next time I spoke to her was at about 11 p.m.,28th of January.A cold damp January night and I couldn’t wait any longer.I slipped into the store room outside my house,switched on the light and under this light of the tungsten bulb got prepared to talk to her.Though I had done a little bit of homework but none of them seemed to come handy then.But it really wasn’t a proposal,it was a confession and I just had to make it.I already knew it from her eyes that she loved me and we were the best of friends,whether she wanted to be with me was all that I had to ask.We discussed the impossibilities,unfortunately more so in our case but when mutual faith showed up,we honestly wanted to and believed by God’s grace will make it together forever and ever till the end of time.And finally when I asked,”Do yo want to be with me?”,she replied,”Ahhhh yaaaa”,like she always wanted to be with me and my happiness was unimaginable.Thus,we exchanged vows of endless and everlasting love and care towards each other and most of all united as one.
This was followed by the Computer test next day after which we escaped to Cherra bridge with a few friends.
Akash Guru-I remember v wern’t talkin due 2 sum reasons bt stl u decided 2 4gt al dat n showd so much concern,i dn sy nethn bt it meant a lot n ya foolin u in2 da auto uptl basvngudi haha!!n sale piche piche khud ka bhi settin kr liya haha ;)
Amrita(minni),Tamanna,Laveena n Resham-my sweet sisters 4 makin da Mumbai trip so memorable..
Minni will neva 4gt da nyt wn v wnt 2 drop u at da airport J
Tamanna n resham 4 bein so so sweet
Laveena mera setting bigadne ke liye dt day!hehe!bt i knw u did it 2 c me happy J
N ya sahil my lil bro 4 makin me listen 2 ds beautifl n inspiratnl song!! J
Anurag Khatiwara-4 supportin me alwaz n undrsntng my mad acts wdout ne reasoning n accompnyng me 2 basvngdi so mny tyms ;) n yup da piece of advice u gv me-“neva lose ur self esteem.”
Atiya Parveen-4 promisin me 2 take care of her n shw hr da way n gvn me cnfdnc to move on
N 4 bein dr at da start of da rlntshp n dr aftr 2..
N i knw u mst b sayin “not again..” Yeah certainly not again nemore..m nt lying!! ;-)
Biplav Kumar- 4 bein der n gvn me hope
Chaitanya Jhunjhunwala-hmm 4 feelin my pain n ALWAZ bein der wen i needed u bro..tu toh bhai hai yar n yup 4 delvrn da laddus 2 her on diwali night ;)m sry 4 al da trouble tho..
Hemant Ghosh-Haha i remembrd ur name BBC!!thanx 4 bein der n yup 4 also bein da Delivery boy ;-)
Thanx a lot J
Jibin Johns-arey my mallu frnd J4 comin over listenin 2 me sharin my pain n 4 bein der on m bday too..luv u brother
Kartik Shetty-one mallu follow’d by the other J!!”Love is bullshit.”haha ain’t it??bt u did listen 2 me i knw Jthanx 4 bein der each n evry moment..a mere thanx is nt enuf i knw thori galiya deni hogi shayad Jhaha!!dude luv u n m w8n 4 da day u find love nt infatuatn tho ;)
N yup i knw “kavish bhool ja” Jn ya da Chennai trip n on da way bak u dn sy mch bt ur mere presence ws enuf dude....
Krishna Medhi-4 gvn cnfdnc n inspirtn 2 move on wd a smile(i knw it doesn’t hide da pain tho) n dt if itz meant 2 b it wl be..
Kudos 2 u dude good tyms ahead J
N bein besyd me lyk my bro on my b’day J
Kumar Vartul-kanhaiya J,4 bein der each n evry nyt n sharing da pain n da heart breakn songs n videos n memories n Ya DIALOGUES haha J
N 4 makin da dialogue immortal-“Samay aur kismat jaisa bhi ho,badalta zarur hai..”
N yup ur case was no milder bt boy aren’t u strong n determined!Dnt wry dude good tyms ahead 4 us,luvJ
Mithun Khimavat-4 helpin me alwaz in my good tyms n bad tyms as well..
4 makin my 19th b’day spcl also by gvn me a suprise wd her along wd vartul n shetty,4 namin me “basvngdi” haha!..n 4 helpin me shoppin 4 her at mantra..
Miss u dude wsh u neva shiftd 2 mech!!n yup dnt wry u 2 wl find ur luv soon..mst eligibl single haha!!i20!! :)
Navin Sharma-well sumtyms i jus cnt get ur behaviour bt i knw u do care n love beyond my expectatns also..thanx 4 valuing me so much..
N ya 4 bein da culprit n cupid also n makin me realise ‘kalpana’ n makin us shy weneva v met ;)
Sam Shady-4 makin da Chennai trip memorable nd consoling me by sayin “hoga meh tum chinta mat kar humlog hai nah” nd “aisi hi baithne se thori na hoga tum try kar hum ko feel aa rah hai woh maan jaega”..luv u dude n 4 provin dat distances do nt matter..blr-chennai jst a call away ;-)w8n 4 ur suprise visits ds yr kp cumin dude..miss ya..
Sandeep Das-arey mr.das my bangali frnd..yes u dnt talk mch bt r alwaz der 2 help n giv advise n u do care
N ya wen u behave lyk ‘sandeep’ wid da overdose of ur jokes v do gt irritatd smtyms bt dat is wat v miss actly J
Saurav Banerjee-v dnt talk mch tl cls 10 bt made gud frnds dn..ur bindaas nature n frnshp gvs inspiratn dude alwaz stay lyk ds
N yup i wl follow ur advise n also hope my fantasies gt fulfilled ;)..u 2 take care n follow da same v wl gt r answers smday in r lyf..good tyms ahead J
Shiny Das-hmm yes i wud lyk 2 mentn v wernt talkn 4 quite long nt dat i dn wnt 2 kp frndshp wd u i dnt knw y i dnt approach earlier bt u sendin dwn such heart warming wishes on my b’day realy touched me n renewed my faith dat somethns do last 4evr n ur a person i dnt n shudnt lose..m sry 4 da past myb smthns r jst meant 2 happn..
Bt thanx 4 bein da friend in tym of need haha J
Sneha Dutta-well thanx 4 bein der as a friend nd philosopher..i knw u do genuinely care....
Bt i want’d 2 ask u,u hd tld me a lot earlier-“der is sumthn better..”n i agreed wd u wn i found her
N nw i knw u’ll sy da same..bt i wonder wat lyf hs 2 offer cz itz just a hard painful n unjustfd compromise ech tym..
Bt yeah i knw v have to continue wd lyf n b positive kp gvn luv myb da universe will listen 1 day J n yup i remember ur words-“wen God puts u thru difficult tyms,He also gvs u da strength 2 recover 4m it.”J
Surabhi Sharma-u generally r reserved in ur own world bt u do hav a gud heart n care 4 da ppl who matter 2 u
Thanx 4 bein so sweet n bein der n wanting 2 help me weneva wntd n dt dy ws spcl remnscng old memories..
N yup kp takn gyan 4m me Jkp faith n trust n prove 2 da world dt love is above al n itz ‘Forever’ n ‘Always’ n nthn cn break ds bond make it happen u wl J
Tanya Mittal-thanx 4 listening n although i coudnt complete bt i realised itz nt worth discussin nemore n bringin more negativity..all i cn sy is dt my luv ws true 4 her alwaz n i luvd hr evn dn n i belvd dt it ws above all....bt myb it jst wsnt enuf or i ws wrong..
Newaz thanx 4 da concern n all da best J
Wanbor Kharmih-well i dn talk 2 u mch abt it bt evn wdout knwn u cared n ur concern felt good J bn long since i met u eager 2 st dwn talk n brng bck old tyms..hope v meet soon J
N yup-“balei tension??”haha ryt?
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